Date: 4th August 2010 at 11:20am
Written by:

Vital Wycombe’s Benny does his best Eileen Drewery impression. You’d think he’d learn wouldn’t you?

Style: Committed and powerful under Andy Hessenthaler
Stadium: A hotchpotch of new stands with a temporary seated yet open away end. Dreadful.
Reputation: Oft-labelled with a pejorative slang term for people of low social class
Rivals: It`ll be Southend United this season
Star player: Adebayo Akinfenwa could be just the man to replace Simeon Jackson
Final position: 1st

Style: Open and entertaining, goals at both ends
Stadium: A depressing new, off-the-shelf, sponsored Lego set
Reputation: They have a crooked spire
Rivals: Mansfield Town
Star player: Jack Lester
Final position: 2nd

Style: Fast, attacking football under boss Ian Sampson
Stadium: Possibly the most hideous recently-built ground in England. The brown seats don`t help
Reputation: Perennial basement dwellers
Rivals: Peterborough United
Star player: Striker Tadhg Purcell
Final position: 3rd

Style: It`ll be dour under Peter Taylor
Stadium: The biggest in the league by far. Premier League standard
Reputation: As Northern as they come
Rivals: Leeds United, none in League Two
Star player: Tommy Doherty
Final position: 4th

Style: Len Worley would love to play in this side
Stadium: A budget stadium that`s too small or so we`re told
Reputation: A yo-yo side that`ll always be non-league
Rivals: Colchester United although this season it`s Aldershot Town
Star player: Kevin Betsy
Final position: 5th

Style: Pacey, young and play the ball on the ground
Stadium: Wind-swept three-sided ground on the arse-end of the City
Reputation: Plucky non-leaguers whose fans still live in an 80s time-warp
Rivals: Swindon Town. Not Wycombe Wanderers
Star player: Striker James Constable
Final position: 6th

Style: Strong and determined Yorkshire grit
Stadium: Temporarily at the Don Valley Athletics stadium in Sheffield. It`s bleak
Reputation: “Aye ‘up lad ‘ave you seen me whippet?”
Rivals: Barnsley
Star player: Last season`s top goalscorer in League Two Adam Le Fondre
Final position: 7th

Style: Inconsistent under boss Micky Adams
Stadium: Once proclaimed as the Wembley of the North yet still not finished
Reputation: John Rudge, Giant-killers, Robbie Williams, Pot
Rivals: Stoke City. This season they`ll have fun against Crewe Alexandra
Star player: Striker Marc Richards
Final position: 8th

Style: Fast-improving under one-time Wanderer Paul Buckle
Stadium: Neat and tidy and perfectly suited for the Gulls
Reputation: Small club that has done well to regain their Football League status
Rivals: Exeter City
Star player: Midfielder Nicky Wroe
Final position: 9th

Style: Powerful – took the Conference title by sweeping Oxford and Luton aside
Stadium: Decent if a little uninspiring. Spoilt by all-seated away end
Reputation: Ambitious new boys from the new town
Rivals: Barnet
Star player: Midfielder Michael Bostwick
Final position: 10th

Style: Effective if not particularly pleasing on the eye
Stadium: A brand new stadium that comes with terracing – all hail the Shrimps
Reputation: Under-rated and under-stated complete with sea and sunshine
Rivals: Once upon a time it was Lancaster City
Star player: Striker Phil Jevons
Final position: 11th

Style: New manager Graham Turner could shape a potent attacking outfit
Stadium: Straight out of a Meccano box
Reputation: The move to the new ground has taken away some of the old charm and romance
Rivals: Hereford United
Star player: Young striker Tom Bradshaw
Final position: 12th

Style: Entertainers with goals galore at both ends
Stadium: The Pirelli is a new-build in a similar style to Adams Park when it was first built
Reputation: M`eh!
Rivals: Tamworth historically. Currently Port Vale.
Star player: Striker Shaun Harrad
Final position: 13th

Style: Fast, attacking on the floor
Stadium: About as “earthy” as you can get in the Football League complete with undulating pitch
Reputation: “Accrington Stanley? Who are they? Exactly!”
Rivals: Bury
Star player: Midfielder Jimmy Ryan
Final position: 14th

Style: Hoofball merchants under Kevin Dillon`s guidance
Stadium: Atmospheric old-school ground in the town centre. Smashing!
Reputation: Lower Football League club that are back where they belong
Rivals: Reading and whilst Gary Waddock is manager – Wycombe Wanderers
Star player: Marvellous Marvin Morgan
Final position: 15th

Style: Unknown quantity under new boss Mark Stimson
Stadium: Another old-school ground with more terracing than seats
Reputation: Living in the shadows of their big North London neighbours
Rivals: Enfield historically, this season it will probably be Stevenage
Star player: Centre-back Darren Dennehy
Final position: 16th

Style: An unknown quantity under new boss Simon Davey
Stadium: As 1970`s as their reputation
Reputation: Muddy pitch, young kids running on the pitch in parker jackets, ah, the magic of the cup
Rivals: Shrewsbury Town, especially now with ex-manager Graham Turner in charge
Star player: Striker Stuart Fleetwood
Final position: 17th

Style: Passing football from youngsters, defence as leaky as a sieve
Stadium: Neat and tidy but unnecessary all-seater
Reputation: The nation`s finest nurturers of footballing talent
Rivals: Port Vale
Star player:
Final position: 18th

Style: Unmistakably Northern
Stadium: Unnecessarily all-seated and as quiet as a graveyard
Reputation: They won the FA Cup twice a century ago
Rivals: Bolton Wanderers historically and Rochdale more recently. They`ll have to make do with Accrington Stanley this season.
Star player: Striker Andy Bishop
Final position: 19th

Style: No thrills
Stadium: Bizarre main stand, yet another that doesn`t need to be all-seater
Reputation: Perennial play-off losers
Rivals: Grimsby Town
Star player: Defender Cian Hughton
Final position: 20th

Style: They were a shambles last season. Paul Simpsons` sides usually flatter to deceive
Stadium: The pitch usually looks like the Somme by mid-October. We have never won there.
Reputation: Manchester`s little club
Rivals: Burnley. This season it`ll be Macclesfield Town
Star player: Owain Fôn Williams
Final position: 21st

Style: Agricultural yet often effective
Stadium: Improved in recent years but still sparsely populated
Reputation: Non-leaguers who continue to punch above their weight
Rivals: Altrincham. They`ll want to beat Stockport County this season
Star player: Midfielder Hamza Bencherif
Final position: 22nd

Style: Always an attractive outfit under Steve Tilson. Paul Sturrock will find it tough to emulate
Stadium: Roots Hall retains its character and atmosphere despite being all-seater
Reputation: Essex`s proper football team. Up and down like a yo-yo.
Rivals: Colchester United
Star player: Left-back Johnny Herd
Final position: 23rd

Style: Scrappy and unpredictable
Stadium: A picturesque setting spoilt by too many unnecessary plastic seats
Reputation: It`s a bit too posh for football
Rivals: Gloucester City. Hereford United are their nearest rivals
Star player: Midfielder JJ Melligan
Final position: 24th